Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
