put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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