I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
