Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
