its not stalking. its research.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
