I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
