I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
