What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
