from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
