How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
