Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
