Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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