She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
