Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
