she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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