So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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