Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
