I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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