I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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