Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
