I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
