I will die if light touches me.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
