I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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