I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
