Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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