But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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