it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
