What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
