He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
