So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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