Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
