Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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