If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
