you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
