My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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