My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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