singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
