his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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