i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
