I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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