ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Floor bacon is actually really good
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
