Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
