At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
