One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
