Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
