Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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