She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
