party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
