Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
