Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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