Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
