U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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